Break-Ups: Getting Over It

I know this isn't an OOTD, or a product review - but, I felt as if it was something touchy that I'm not afraid to speak out about. Situations, people and the relationships that you form with them are all volatile. The time, place or emotional states cannot always be optimal for a healthy relationship to grow into what you had hoped it to be. It's difficult, putting all your trust in someone that you may have loved to then have it thrown out to the curb and a door slammed in your face. Maybe it was you, maybe it was them - regardless, getting over someone emotionally and physically is always tough. Personally, I've been through major breakups and I've struggled with the state of alienation from society as a result of them. This post is not to tell you my story, but rather to help you shape yours.

Firstly, you need to focus on you. How do I feel? What do I want? Trying to read the mixed signals from someone you have recently ended a relationship with can be the most exhausting, nerve-wracking thing ever. Naturally, you allow the thought of that person to consume you. How do they feel? What did I do wrong? Specifically in a situation where you did not initiate the ending of the relationship, the sudden displacement in your life caused by disinterest, mistrust or simple bad timing can entrap you so easily. Look at it like this: No longer are you held back by the restrictions of a relationship. You have time. Discover new interests, travel, explore. Being single, even if temporarily, can be extremely liberating. If you called it quits, there had to be a reason why. Stand by your view, focus on yourself before you allow your previous lover or anyone new into your life again.

Surround yourself with people and things who make you happy. There are situations where you might feel like the person you just lost or let go of was the only light in your life, the only person to make a day worth getting out of bed. You're wrong. I reiterate, focus on you. Find a crappy new television show (I recommend the painfully cliché New Girl), take walks to the beach or the park, pick up photography - there is so much out there to enjoy on your own, that will assist you in growing as an individual.

Secondly, stay away from social media. If you're in a  situation where things ended on a bad note, the last thing you need to see is someone you care so much about in a photo with someone else or have to read their "IDFWU" tweets and "single life" Instagram captions. It's not petty to unfriend them on Facebook, to unfollow on Twitter. Removing yourself from the upheaval of social media is good for you, especially in a time of vulnerability when you're trying to place focus on your own emotions.

Let time do its job. Time heals, but you have to let it. It's difficult to wait out all the surges of confusing emotions but it's the only proven cure for heartbreak. I read once, right after a difficult breakup, that it takes twice as long as your relationship with someone to get over them. I remember panicking, after being in that relationship for three years, thinking "How am I going to survive six years of this?" It took a lot less than six years, and I went through confusion, anger, depression, exhaustion, more anger and then finally acceptance.

Accept. If you can change the situation to work in your favour, go for it. If it's out of your control - then just accept it and move forward.

I know I'm no major advice guru, but I thought I'd share my opinions on how to get through a break-up. I'm a good listener so if you feel the need to vent, you can Direct Message me @IslandMYST. Have a great day and thank you for reading!

1 comment:

  1. Loving your blog always my friend. Awesome post .so many people will find this helpful as did I . You were there for me when I needed u. N although I always piss u off I know I can count on you being there for me. Such a good friend!


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